


The MegaAsshole with the Candycorn Horns

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-01
Packaged: 2017-12-06 09:58:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/734386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So yay! I had an awesomesauce idea for a story and I decided to do it. <3 Woo!</p>
    </blockquote>





	The MegaAsshole with the Candycorn Horns

**Author's Note:**

> So yay! I had an awesomesauce idea for a story and I decided to do it. <3 Woo!

"So, what do ya say Karkat?" No.  
No. 

No. 

No.  
Your name is Karkat Vantas and one of the cutest humans you've ever seen in your sweeps is staring at you with his huge blue eyes rimmed with thick, dorky, adorable glasses. And he is waiting for an answer, yet all you can think of is no. You really want to say no. But you're stupid brain won't let you actually SAY it. So there you stood, a scowl on your face as he waited patiently. John had seemed to get really used to waiting on you and since you were usually one to reject first-time offers, he blinks and pleads some more, "Please! Karkat, it won't be any fun there without you!" What a lie...unless John really believed that the party would be better with you there. Then he was simply kidding himself. 

You're a senior in highschool, but you've crushed on Egbert since 8th grade; middle school. And since it had been so long, you even began to simply call it, "love". Although it was a one-way relationship, because A. John has a boyfriend- the bane of your existence, Dave Strider, and B. He's never taken you out of the friend zone. No one really ever has, and even when they did, they always dropped you quickly. It became a cycle in your life; dating one person after another until you finally gave up in romance. Except you forget that humans don't give a shit about quadrants, and there's only one option for them. If John was a troll, you're pretty sure you'd settle for a blackrom if it meant getting a piece of him.

But John wasn't a troll and he didn't divide his heart as mercifully as your species did. So you were completely fucked sore in all of your loopholes.

At the moment, the said human was inviting you to a party. A "Christmas" party, where everyone wore green-and-red, decorated a tree, ate big meals, drank a lot, watched movies, played games. If you were anyone else and in less of a shithole for your life, you would think the entire idea was grand, but for you, it isn't. All of your quote-on-quote, friends, would be there. Whatever. You'd rather die than look at their faces again at the moment. Most of them were so sucked into their own selfish desires that they didn't give a shit for anyone who wasn't pleasing them, sexually or otherwise.

What the FUCK ever. For some stupid reason-be it John's eyes, your protein chute opens and you put on a fake smile, "Yeah, I guess it sounds cool." And that gave him the idea that you were going for sure. "Awesome~ See ya there!" And then he locked arms with fucking Dave Strider, and strolled off. You were going to strangle someone now. John was going to run around telling everyone that you were going to be there, but you doubted that you would at this point. Good, add that to the resume. "LIAR", branded across the top in big fat letters, "FOR HIRE."

Okay, so maybe you were over-exaggerating this. Or maybe you weren't, because you must really strangle someone if you see Dave and John press their lips together and moan and hump each other again. You'd accidentally walked in on it once and it scarred you forever. Not to mention that you wanted to cry, but you couldn't because you had cried so much right before that happened. Now you're probably going to see it happen again, or even worse, get arrested for killing someone. Alright, that went a little too far. Of course you wouldn't really kill anyone. Or at least, commit the crime at a CHRISTMAS party. You weren't that stupid.

Groaning and proceeding to execute a FACEPALM COMBO X2! you trudge over to your car and sink into the seat, leaning back and letting out a breath of hot air. He wondered what John would do if he knew that you were going through so much at the moment. And then you wonder what he'd do if you just told him how you felt.

Shit.

You stop kidding yourself and you let out a little laugh, taking your hands off of your eyes and leaning forward to start the car.

Like that would happen! It would be a hell of a Christmas miracle!

And then you began to break out into a laugh as you drove down the crowded streets. "Merry fucking Christmas, everyone," you growl to yourself, slamming the car door so hard that you could hear it rock noisily behind you. You fling open the door to your place and sigh. The sexual sounds that echoed around your hive were nerve-wracking as you sat down slowly and tried to decide what direction it was coming from. 

"SOL-LUX!"

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry the first chapter is kinda drawn out, considering how almost nothing happened... ~~


End file.
